Sunny High 16

The Paradise Falls Chronicle is a proud affiliate member of the Central-Northern Ontario Independent Press Association.

Please address all correspondence and letters to the editor: Norman E. Wood, Editor-In-Chief.

Dear Shirley,

I have a problem. My boyfriend likes to dress up as Tarzan every time we have sex. What should I do?

Signed,
Jane

Dear Jane,

Tell him to stop swinging around. Last I looked, there weren't any jungles around here, so tell him to trade in his loincloth or you'll be looking to find a new treehouse to sleep in.

Dear Shirley,

My mother-in-law always speaks to me in Italian even though she knows I don’t speak a word. What should I do?

Signed,
English in Orillia

Dear English,

Respect your momma, treat her well.
Just agree with everything she says, and you can’t go wrong.