Sunny High 16

The Paradise Falls Chronicle is a proud affiliate member of the Central-Northern Ontario Independent Press Association.

Please address all correspondence and letters to the editor: Norman E. Wood, Editor-In-Chief.

My father was a bad man. He lied, he drank and he was generally just plain nasty. I always promised myself I wouldn’t be like him. But this morning I told my wife that I was working late last night, when the truth is that I didn’t come home until really late because I was drunk at a strip club.

This isn’t the first time I’ve lied like this. I hate myself, because I have become everything I’ve always hated about my father. Is there any hope?

Signed,

Cursed in Cawartha

Dear Cursed,

There is no escaping your heritage. Some people inherit large ears, others bad teeth. Some people take after their parents’ intelligence, tallness, or good looks.

And some get alcoholism crossed with compulsive lying.

I wish there was good news for you, but there isn’t. You’re a liar. And a drunk.

The best thing you can do is leave. Pack up and get the hell out. Get as far away from your wife as you can, someplace where she’ll never have to worry about ever seeing you again. Go to a place where you can’t hurt anyone but yourself, like Toronto or Ottawa.

Life isn’t fair. But at least it’s not your fault. You’re just cursed, Cursed.